BREAKING NEWS!!! Using the term BREAKING NEWS!!! in a headline leads to SPEW.

As the bot spam comes in, I’ve noticed it’s centered around a few articles. Those with the aforementioned headline and ones in which I mention global warming or Popsicle Jesus (so, I guess this article will get a LOT of SPEW).

This week’s SPam of thE Week comes to us from the romantically named, Colon Cleansing Products in reference to this article:

“I dont know what to say.  This is undoubtedly one of several greater blogs Ive examine.  Youre so insightful, have much true things to bring towards table.  I wish that much more folks read this and get what I got from it:  chills.  Good job and fantastic webpage.  I cant wait to read far more, maintain them comin!”

Me, I know what to say; did you use apostrophe cleansing products on your post?

Ok, that was probably the lamest thing I’ve ever posted, but really, use some freakin’ apostrophes already.

Also, I’m glad my greater blog brings much towards the table. Getting to the table is what we’re all about. We’re not there yet, but we’re almost there. Literally tens of people visit my site every week.

Finally, I’m glad you got chills from my article; it was about a fucking heat wave. You have encouraged me to maintain them comin’.

Posted in BREAKING NEWS!!!, Spam of the Week | Comments Off on BREAKING NEWS!!! Using the term BREAKING NEWS!!! in a headline leads to SPEW.

It slices, it dices, it vivisections

As you know, before cutting delicate, over ripe produce with a precision instrument like the Ginsu, one must first prime the knife by cutting through lead pipes, soda cans, and such. Once this was accomplished, I set about conducting the vivisection.

Let’s have a look at the results.

Unsavory, comes to mind. As one user suggested, it’s like an alien autopsy (only this actually happened).

Posted in Green Grapes | 1 Comment

Ginsu Vs. Grape

One of the cruelest crimes against grapedom (or should that be grapemanity?) is neglect. The grape pictured below is a victim of said crime. So what do we do with grapes that have become inedible but have not given wholly unto Death’s embrace and transmogrified into their dessicated undead progeny, the raisin?

Vivisection.

And what better implement to perform said vivisection than the legendarily sharp, Ginsu knife. Stay tuned…

Posted in Green Grapes | 5 Comments

The trifecta

Posted in Black Grapes, Green Grapes, Red Seedless Grapes | Comments Off on The trifecta

It’s…

…Wednesday’s image. Lots going on here at global HQ. We’re about to enter a period of consecutive theme weeks. Until then, enjoy today’s image.

Posted in Green Grapes | Comments Off on It’s…