Remember when you were in elementary/middle/high school and your teachers told you you needed to learn the metric system because it would be replacing the American System (or English System) of measurement. They pointed to our speedometers, thermometers, and other ‘ometers as proof. Not only were metric measurements on the instruments to act as a way to acclimate stubborn Americans, they sneakily had “meters” in their name. Tricky scientists. But alas, we still live in a world with two different systems of measurement.
Here’s an example of the government trying to influence our behavior (though tax sponsored PBS):
How can you win a 1k by a mile?
Fear not, the dream of a universal measurement system isn’t dead. You see, scientists and governments can try and cram shit down our throats, but the populous will choose it’s own system (aided, of course, by the news media, Discovery Channel, History Channel, etc…).
So, here are the new universal measurements, chosen by you. It’s not a comprehensive list, but pay attention when you’re watching TV; you’ll notice they use these measurements more than the American or Metric System.
LENGTH: Be it atoms, dinosaurs, flights to the moon, or whatever, you can measure it with the units below.
Really Long: New York City to Los Angeles
Long: Football Field
Medium: City Bus
Small: Head of a pin
HEIGHT:
Tall: Empire State Building
Medium to really fucking big: “X” Story Building
Smaller: A grown man
WEIGHT
Large: Elephant / Rosie O’Donnell
Large: Ton / Tonnes
ENERGY / CALORIES
Large: Big Mac
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