Friday’s Grapes

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Wednesday’s Grapes

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The SPEW Strikes Back…

Episode V

It seems the internet and its legions of spam are unhappy with my SPEW column. In the last four days alone I’ve gotten about 90 or so instances of spam. Unfortunately, none of those were even marginally legible or entertaining. It was all links to sites that probably don’t exist (like www.GdogFeuyciknYpofuwrdsbeuldft.com) by users with names like MhoynfkqeeyuBmallpldsz.

Luckily, I did get some SPEW a few weeks ago from loyal spam-bot user WordPress Themes. If you’ll recall, this user is a college student apparently studying frozen novelty theology.

Looks like Mr Themes is a dedicated student and is taking summer classes on cutlery and/or produce themed vivisection’s:

“Genial brief and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you for your information.”

Right away we can tell this guy doesn’t wear boxers (your Admin’s preferred choice for covering his genials). Looks like he still hasn’t figured out how to spell “assignement” and that “alot” isn’t a word. Maybe that’s why he’s taking summer courses.

Oh, and I thank myself every day for the information I provide.

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Ask The Sea Captain: Rib Recipe

One of the site’s features that is still in beta is the “Ask The Sea Captain” section. Have a question? Send it to AskTheSeaCaptain@aPlateOfGrapes.com

Here’s a question that was asked by user MW:

“Do you have a good recipie for ribs that doesn’t take all day?”

Yar, of course me matey! Here be me favorite recipe…

Prep work:

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees. Prepare dry rub.

Dry Rub:

Lots o’ Brown Sugar

Spices to taste:

Black Pepper

Cayenne Pepper

Bacon Salt

Onion Powder (or finely diced onions)

Garlic Powder (or finely diced garlic)

Rinse ribs in cold water and pat dry. Apply dry rub; really mash it in

there. I like to apply two coatings.

Fill a 3″ deep pan with about 1/4″ of water (depending on how many ribs

you want to make, you may need a few pans. Each rack of ribs will

usually fit in a 13″ x 9″ pan). Place a layer of tinfoil over the water,

but leave space for steam to escape. Place ribs on said foil then cover

the whole thing with tightly with tinfoil.

Bake for 1:30 – 1:45 ribs will be done when you can easily insert a

tooth pick into the meat and the meat has started to recede from the bone.

Apply your favorite BBQ sauce and finish on the grill for 15-20 minutes,

turning every few minutes.

Even the crustiest scalawag will enjoy this tasty grub.

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Dino Grapes

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