Friday Grapes

Posted on April 22, 2011 by admin

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SPam of thE Week, Poor Spllenig Edition

Posted on April 20, 2011 by admin

Spam bots tend to follow patterns. The posts come from different users promoting different sites, but have a theme. The latest craze with spam bots these days is one word misspelled terribly. This is their story…

We all love praise, so I like to post positive comments from time to time. I have a fan Voncile… whatever the hell that is.

“You’re the gerteast!”

Aw, shucks, you’re pretty wderlufl yourself.

We’re into helping others, here at the grape. As evidenced by Janelle.

“you’ve solved all my prboelms”

Well… I’m not perfect.

In other news…. servers will be down overnight for a MySQL upgrade. That wasn’t a misspelling, it’s actually spelled MySQL.

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Off the Plate: More Fun Toys

Posted on April 18, 2011 by admin

I’m not a fan of spiders. Certain spiders, like black widows, have been known to hitch rides on bunches of grapes like some kind of evil Cracker Jack prize. So, imagine my joy when I came across this toy at the local toy store:

That’s right, the dreaded small block tarantula. I couldn’t help myself, I had to check out the Tarantula Planet website. Here’s an excerpt:

“Welcome to Tarantula Planet! A place where the coolest Tarantulas in the galaxy hang out. While each Tarantula is very different, they have one thing in common…they love applause!”

They love applause? This is a tarantula wearing a freakin’ engine, not a tutu.

OK… it appears not all the spiders on Tarantula Planet cause smog… or love Broadway, the steel industry, and NASA. They’ve also got Somalians over there:

Yes, that’s a tarantula with a parrot, tricorn hat, and a hook. Oh, and a skull and crossbones tattoo. Argh.

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SPam of thE Week!

Posted on April 15, 2011 by admin

Something’s foul in the state of Internet. Or, everything’s fine and I’ve just been getting inundated with spam for some reason. Our first bit o’ SPEW comes from Minoan who writes:

“Thanks man. It has been cool knowing you”

Is that some kind of threat? This coming from a civilization that’s been extinct for over 3,000 years.

Next up we have Loan Consolidation, who likes animals. Actually, it seems like there are lots of people out there who like animals.

“I think some of this content could have been taken from a feed, it’s found everywhere on the net and various peoples websites, unless you’re the content’s maker?”

Those thieving dicks! I searched for grape animals and didn’t really turn up much. There was this site called Grape Rescue that sounded cool, but it’s an acronym for Golden Retriever Adoption Placement & Education… a worthy site, but animals made out of grapes.

Lastly, we’ve got user Jeri who says,

“superlative entry you’ve get hands on”

Way to end a sentence in a preposition, wanker.

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Remember when… Quizno’s Commercials

Posted on April 14, 2011 by admin

I recently saw this commercial from DQ. It made me think of Quizno’s. I haven’t seen a Quizno’s commercial recently… or maybe I have and they’re just not memorable. A few years back Quizno’s had some damn funny commercials.

First up, who can forget a commercial that suggests their associates put their junk into the ovens. And by junk, I mean penis.

The next classic Quizno’s ad doesn’t feature a yogurt cannon, but it does feature rodents. They really like the Santa Fe sub.

Those rodents also like the Italian sub. They say they’re not barbaric Huns. Why pick the Huns? It was the Gauls that first sacked Rome… followed by the Visigoths and then the Vandals. After that it became vogue to sack Rome.

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