Today I’m unveiling a new feature here on the site called Off The Plate. This feature will be about non grapes on plate news, events, and other such-and-such from wherever-dom.<\/p>\n
Our inaugural OTP will feature Taco Bell’s new Cantina Taco. Although I have favorites at most restaurants (OK, calling Taco Bell a restaurant is a stretch), I always try new menu items. You never know, you might find a new favorite… or you might find the Cantina Taco.<\/p>\n
For those of you who’ve been blessed and HAVEN’T tried the Cantina Taco, let me describe it to you:<\/p>\n
The two moisturelss, turn-to-paste-as-you-eat-them corn tortillas that crack and splinter like The Mummy’s foreskin at a Thai strip club are filled with slimy meat seasoned with the sweat of an outsourced IT call center and topped off with half a pound of cilantro.<\/p>\n
American Civil War era hardtack is more appetizing.<\/p>\n
How bad are the Cantina Tacos? First, it’s been about month since I tried said tacos and I still can’t think of the Taco Bell brand without my stomach turning. Second, I can’t think of ANY Mexican food without my stomach turning. Third, it took me a month to write this piece because every time I started working on it, my stomach started turning. Finally, they were so bad I created a special feature on my website just to warn the populous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today I’m unveiling a new feature here on the site called Off The Plate. This feature will be about non grapes on plate news, events, and other such-and-such from wherever-dom. Our inaugural OTP will feature Taco Bell’s new Cantina Taco. … Continue reading