Today we highlight a recent flyer from Rite Aid who, like many other retailers, is cashing in celebrating the NFL playoffs (or “Professional Football” if you don’t want to get sued). If Rite Aid is to be believed, I’ve been tailgating wrong my entire life. Below are just some of the items they’re featuring… after each item I’ll attempt to make some sort of football connection.
Their offence: I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to have a big bowl of fish oil supplements handy for the big game.
Their defense: I guess the quarterbacks do call out things like, “B-12, C-1000mg, hut, hut, hike!”.
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Thier offence: This has to be the exact opposite of what football is all about. I don’t know what Cystex is, and I’m not reading the description to find out.
Their defense: EPT… actually makes sense. Since the ref’s are busyFUCKING your team for the ENTIRE game, you’ll probably want to get tested.
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Thier offence: Wartner? In what
Their defense: Your team isn’t perfect… it has warts (that’s why they aren’t going to the Superbowl). This works especially well if your team lost because the opposing coach called a last second timeout to freeze your kicker.
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Thier offence: On a page with beer, chili, and chips, the “gameday” product is… coffee?
Their defense: They’re mentally challenged.
Extra point: Since when are Natural Light, PBR, Coors, Bud Light, etc… considered CRAFT beer? Notice they actually hightlight CRAFT in their header.
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Overtime: There were actually many, many more… so sad.